It’s Cake and Cunnilingus Time — Why Don’t We Commemorate! | Autostraddle

I have two important announcements: 1. Now, April 14th, is my birthday celebration, and 2. I just learned that while this time coincides with numerous considerable historical events (the Lincoln assassination, the Titanic hitting the iceberg, the birth of Sarah Michelle Gellar and
Da Brat
), moreover it coincides with a vacation you probably haven’t been aware of and don’t know you necessary. No, I’m not dealing with National Dolphin time — though it is, indeed, National Dolphin time, incase you should celebrate bisexual water animals with a truly unsettling degree of cleverness, go ahead and, go for it. I am making reference to Cake and Cunnilingus Day. Listed here is a brief history:

In 2002, Boston-based radio DJ Tom Birdsey chose that valentine’s demanded too-much from directly guys. On his WFNX radio tv series, he proclaimed that henceforth, March 14th might be
“Steak and Blowjobs Day,”
a man-centered a reaction to valentine’s which promotes ladies to offer some steak and go-down on their gallant dudes — you realize, as a “thank you” for the V-Day flowers and candy. When porno curator Ms. Naughty learned about Birdsey’s “holiday” in 2006, she
produced her very own trip
in response. Therefore, Cake and Cunnilingus Day was born.

Cake and Cunnilingus time is not an “official” holiday, it

does

have the official site. The
welcome page
records that while romantic days celebration is “for enthusiasts,” Cake and Cunnilingus Day is actually “a bit more carnally obsessed,” centering satisfaction rather than devotion. The rest of the vocabulary accustomed describe this celebration is actually emphatically cis-centric and heteronormative, but we know that cis, right people try not to acquire cunnilingus as well as DEFINITELY don’t own meal. Queer and trans audience, let’s join this sugar-fueled, oral bacchanal and state it for our selves.

Most likely, times tend to be difficult. We’re able to all utilize a tad bit more cake
and cunnilingus
in life. So why don’t we celebrate, shall we?

“But Ro, I’m not into cunnilingus and I’m a lot more of a savory meals person!” WHICH IS FINE! Perhaps you’d somewhat claim a significantly less chauvinist form of Steak and Blowjobs time, or perhaps Ramen and Rimming Day or French Fries and Fisting time would best suit your preferences. About fantastic time (remember: it will be the time

of

my

birth

), I inspire you to definitely make yourself to hedonism in whatever form seems well. And if the cake/cunnilingus combo talks to you, I’ve paired eight types desserts with eight varieties of cunnilingus to encourage your own revelry.

An easy notice before we (muff) plunge in: If you are planning to eat dessert instantly before performing cunnilingus on a vulva-owning lover, possibly clean your smile or at least rinse the mouth area with h2o before you dip in. Cake and Cunnilingus time is all enjoyable and games until it really is followed by Yogurt and Yeast Infections Day. When you need to get involved in it secure, consume the cake

after

the oral intercourse has determined.

Okay, on the pairings!

If You Prefer to Start the Day With Cunnilingus — Eat Java Cake

Nothing claims, “hello and happy Thursday!” like a tongue between the feet. After the morning grind, simplicity in to the different types of day work with a slice of coffee dessert. This
cinnamon sour cream coffee meal
meal will combine completely with whatever gay oat dairy latte your clit-licking partner are wanting.

When Your Partner Likes Teasing Their Own Tongue — Eat Carrot Cake

Oral gender is approximately the journey. In case your spouse loves to dangle the carrot of an orgasm before you while they edge you for minutes (or hrs), then you’re going to need some carrot meal in the future down from inescapable endorphin large. This
vegan and gluten-free carrot meal
dish will match numerous diet needs.

If You Love Heading Down on the Companion While Concurrently Railing All Of Them With The Fingers — Eat Pound-cake

Break out your own bundt mildew! After offering or receiving a beating, you are going to require some heavy, damp cake to refuel. Usually, pound-cake is made with a pound of each component: flour, butter, eggs and glucose, however if you want to follow somewhat more difficult instructions, this
orange south pound-cake
recipe will do the secret.

If You Like to 69 — Eat Upside-Down Pineapple Cake

If you’re in another of those happy interactions for which two or more partners have actually versatile necks AND rather equal body lengths, next 69ing might-be your chosen type dental enjoyment. And since you love to
flip it and change it
, you will most probably value a meal dish that includes some slick moves. Test this
pineapple upside-down cake
dish, which involves flipping the meal over once it is out from the range.

If Absolutely Facesitting — Eat Cheesecake

Let’s face it — doing dental gender are difficult from the throat. If you prefer to rest as well as get fully smothered by the partner’s ass although you make your best effort language flicking, then chances are you should encourage your self which includes cheesecake, that offers both softness and occurrence similar to a round rump. This
matcha mint cheesecake
meal or your
no-bake vegan lime almond cheesecake
meal will suit your needs.

If An Individual or even more Partners Are Menstruating — Eat Red Velvet Cake

If you should be one particular “red velvet is candy — it isn’t its very own flavor” individuals, kindly step aside. “Red velvet,” like duration intercourse, is meant to end up being an

experience

. Follow-up your own crimson carpet-munching with a slice for this
vegan yellow velvet cake
, which gets their hue from red meals coloring, or this
“naturally-dyed” yellow velvet cake
, which will get the color from beets.

If You Want in order to get On The Legs — Eat Flourless Chocolate Cake

Perchance you value the pain sensation of kneeling on a wood floor even though you supply oral service. You, good-sized masochist, should nurse your own bruises when you drain your smile into one thing soft. I am making reference to flourless chocolate meal, without a doubt! This
gluten-free dish
includes some coffee — you may need the boost before circular two.

Whether Or Not It’s Very First Time Providing or Obtaining Queer Cunnilingus — Consume Confetti Cake

Technically, “confetti meal” is vanilla dessert with sprinkles inside the batter, it tastes undeniably much better — and is alson’t that a great metaphor for queerness? Any time you and/or your partner tend to be fresh to the ability of queer cunnilingus, you need a cunt-fetti cake that leaves you in a celebratory feeling. Buy a box of Funfetti cake mix or Doing It Yourself by simply following
this meal
.

What is actually your chosen meal recipe? What is your favorite oral intercourse place? Decrease your recs during the responses!